Goodbye to the people who hurt me

You can’t, you can’t catch me now I am higher than the hopes that you brought down

I was a little girl with eyes full of dreams ready to fly only to be told that I can’t . I never lacked in any talents maybe the timing was not right , my own family would never discourage me yet it had to be people related to them. I hated family functions for the same reason no matter how much I try to be a good kid my faults would be quickly noticed, compared with their own kids. I was a kid, not even a full grown human when even a full grown human is not perfect and can never try to be.

My mom told me that if I set my mind into anything I could achieve it and there were people who would say since I was not their daughter I can’t be like them, somebody with a great career. They never wanted me to be part of the lives they lived, the convenient life where you have respect , power and status. Maybe that’s why they kept putting my dreams down, maybe they didn’t want to see me do well.

Every achievement of my siblings or mine will be met with a low toned “Congratulations” and a failure with a laugh or a smile that they were right all along. I still remember those taunts , those comments, those words, those laughs. It’s easy to say you could just forget them, hear them and pay them no heed the next time but all I remember the same words they said the last time. I could choose not to go, not to meet but as a kid, as a teen you do get dragged to those events , told that ‘ we always spend holidays at their place’ only for that holiday to be a nightmare.

These days I keep my life hidden , protected from their envious gaze. I do all I can to avoid them yet their words from the past haunt me, taunt me in a manner where I feel I am good for nothing. I feel sad when I think about my younger selves who believed their words than her own. As I encountered struggles and hardships their voice got stronger in my head telling me that “You are nothing, You are dumb , a failure” while the faint voice of my own faith and belief in myself was inaudible, almost a whisper.

I did everything to hold on that whisper

I decided that for once and for all it’s time to bid goodbye to those voices, those taunts, those people. It’s hard doing that when even at times it would result in surge of emotions. The feeling that I could have done so much more, had so much potential only to lose to the voices in my head. It was time to remove the painful memories those which brought me down , made me lose hope. There would be tiny good memories which I might have of them but its better to let them go, once and for all

I am still in process to tell them goodbye. I cant wish them bad as there is karma watching but for sake of humanity I wish them well. I forgive them for their words they were a mere human who didn’t know they almost broke a soul, God will look after them. I wish them well for their journey ahead and pray that our paths don’t cross again.

Clinging to their ungrateful words and painful memories would not be good if someday I have to heal and move forward.

Here is me bidding you goodbye , hoping that you would do well in life ahead. Here is me starting anew finally in a place where you can’t catch me, where I am thriving and growing ,just like a flower which blooms finally after thousand rainstorms.